Taking it one day at a time.

It is 12:30, Thursday morning. It is way too late for me to be still awake but I can't sleep. I have so much on my mind.

I didn't cry yesterday...which is very suprising. I don't know if its just because I am taking it so well, or if it hasn't really sunk in yet. Either way, I am hopeful that I stay positive. With ALL of the love and support that my family and friends have given me, I don't know how I couldn't. It is so very hard to be trying to juggle daily life along with a baby. Now I have to worry about something else...eek. I will be ok, I need to stop complaining so much.

I have decided that Arnol and I will no longer live together. As far as the relationship goes, we will take it a day at a time. I am not sure that I want to marry him; I refuse to marry him just because of the situation. It wouldn't make anything better, I promise. He is confused as to my reasoning but I know he will do just fine without me. He has for 20 years, he can do it for a while longer. I don't want my baby to have split parents, but ya know what, this is what God calls a consequence for a choice that WE made together as two very SECULAR children. I hope that one day I will actually take God's will into consideration before my own.

Back to the baby, I am so ready to find out if my "mother's intuition" was right and see my little baby GIRL. :) I may be completely wrong, but I don't know...it is just a feeling. Now that I think back to it, I used to tell people that I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl...I just want a healthy baby. Well, now even though healthy would be wonderful, I am hoping for a breathing baby that gives me a while to hold his or HER beautiful earthly body. I bought a baby names book today after the doctors appt. I am hoping that by one of the next two appts, I will find out the sex. Whoo-hoo. I can't wait to buy her (haha, or his) first little outfit. I'm excited.

Well, continue to pray as always. My specific request is for Arnold. He has a hard time to understanding as to why I don't feel as though we should live together. I want God to change is heart. Maybe this baby will be the answer to that.
Well, thank you all for reading...and keep checking back!